Okay this has been on my mind for the past month! SO much to share with you...
I talk a lot about Whole Health - mind, body, spirit...and life! During times like this every aspect of our Whole Health is being affected. It’s more obvious than ever before how intertwined our physical and emotional health is with our life circumstances. But there is great news! We have the ability to thrive despite our life circumstances. Human beings are resilient. We are made to adapt, get scrappy and come out on top!
It is so very normal to feel all over the place right now. In times of uncertainty, our brains search for answers that either aren’t there or are ever changing. Naturally this creates major emotional unrest - truly traumatic unrest which can cause all sorts of fight or flight-like and grief-like reactions. But I won’t get too nerdy sciencey on you. The real question is, how in the world can we get through this? I’ve got you!
MAJOR disclaimer for my overachievers out there...this is not a “to do” list. More is not necessarily better. This is a list of possibilities. Pick ONE thing to start with. Pick the thing that feels the best - there is no one “right” thing for you. In fact the thing that feels best to you is automatically the right thing. You are wise. Your body is wise. You can be your own doctor here and “Self-Rx” the one thing that feels like a go, commit to do it, do it, be proud of yourself for it. Repeat. : ) More at the end...
Whole Health Hacks for this time (and all times)!
1. Form a loose routine. Start with bedtime. Set a timer on your phone for 30 minutes before you want to be asleep that says “bedtime routine.” When it goes off, tell the toddler in your brain (we’ve all got one!) that it’s bedtime and then start a relaxing bedtime routine that helps you wind down. See below on using your senses to sooth.
2. Build on that bedtime and set yourself up for success the next day during that bedtime routine. Think of one thing that you want to do the next day - something that you are excited about and will be proud of yourself for. Commit to do it. Consider even writing it down, so when you check it off the next day, you get that good ol’ dopamine rush of accomplishment. Bonus points if you even set yourself up for success by making it easier to do (ie-filling up your water bottle.)
3. Be intentional about waking up. Okay I know that sounds odd, but energy doesn’t come from the sky. Your body creates energy. And it needs some basics to do it - air, water, movement, stimulation to your brain (thinking, light, sound, etc.). Use that to your advantage and get up, take some deep breaths, drink some water, get your body moving and have a plan for what you’re going to do.
4. Develop anchors within your day as much as you can. Bedtime and wake time are good ones to start with. The idea is not to feel like everything is regimented, but rather to maintain some things on a schedule so that your brain is calmed by having an expectation and meeting it. Realize that even anchors have to have flexibility sometimes. Some things that can serve as anchors: wake time, dressed and ready to roll time, meal times, school start time, outside time, midday rest time, fun time, tech free time, call a friend time, TV time, bedtime routine time, lights out time.
5. “Put on a li’l lipstick. You’ll be fine!” My mom was famous for saying this when she wanted to speed up the teenagers' getting ready process. It’s priceless advice. Part of caring for your body is caring for the “esthetic of self.” You don’t have to impress anyone but yourself and when you put in a little effort you will be impressed. Some ideas: shave, dress up even if you’re not leaving, paint your nails, put on pants with buttons (not elastic. lol), do your brows, try a new lipstick, try out that Texas big hair, wash, exfoliate and moisturize, use a face mask, wear different jewelry, choose a bright color in your outfit, figure out how to fold that scarf you got for Christmas last year.
6. Fresh air don’t care. Get some fresh air every day, ideally multiple times per day. I don’t care if it’s too cold, too hot, too rainy, too dry, too humid, too whatever. Sometimes I feel a little wimpy because Ohio weather is frequently too <something> and then I realize that is an excuse. Some ideas: open a window, sit on the porch and take some deep breaths, play in the backyard, go for a walk, go to a park for a trail walk. (You can safely do this while maintaining physical distance from others and wearing a mask can further protect.)
7. Enjoy your inside time too. This is a good time to renew your pride in your home. Spring cleaning is therapeutic in and of itself, but an organized environment can feel calming. Have fun with changing up decor, rearranging furniture, building a fort. Try to have an area where people in your home can go to have some down time on their own and respect their need for that. This isn’t always possible, but even a quiet corner or a walk in closet can be soothing. Everything in moderation though. Try not to over obsess about cleanliness or tidyness.
8. Lend a hand. Stress makes us very self-centered. There’s no shame in it - it’s a natural protective mechanism, but we have to fight against that. There’s nothing that gets us away from worrying about our own situation more than helping someone we appreciate. Some ideas: send a cheerful text/email/phone call/video chat, write a well wishing card to a nursing home, write a thank you note to someone in an essential line of work, do a chore for someone in your household, pay for the person behind you in the drive-thru, post something encouraging on social media, hug your kiddos extra, play an undistracted game with your household members, share these tips and other encouraging information with your crew.
9. Be a little self-centered. Ironic huh? Do something that you like to do. Don’t be afraid to ask for some alone time in a kind way or you get to pick the show on TV. Some ideas: lay down and daydream, write in a journal, read a juicy book, do a craft, color, knit, sing, dance, go for a drive, take a bath, light a candle, watch your favorite show, you pick the board game the family plays.
10. Do something for your biochemistry each day. Okay we can consider that something for your belly as well as I tell my girls. Our body is fed via nutrition and hydration. Some ideas: pick a water intake goal, pick a fruit/veggie intake goal, commit to eating at the table only, commit to take your supplements/medications on time, try a new healthier recipe, set the table for a fancy slow enjoyable dinner.
11. Do something for your body each day. I’m not talking about a workout program. I’m talking about something that is meant to make your body structure feel good! Some ideas: stretch from head to toe as you get out of bed, before going to bed or during commercials; go for a walk, have a dance party, do an online workout, use resistance bands or weights for strength training, try a plank challenge, wear a pedometer and set a steps goal, walk around the house, go up and down stairs.
10. Soothe yourself. I talk a lot about soothing through your senses. Our brain gets messages through all of our senses, so stands to reason that if we want a calmer or happier output then we can start with a more positive input. Think in terms of what you are seeing, hearing, smelling, touching, tasting, how you’re moving and design opportunities for you and your family to give yourself what you need. Some ideas: looking out the window, enjoying nature views, designing a neat area of your home (clutter makes us more anxious), looking through old photo albums, listening to happy or relaxing music and shows, turning off negative news or conversations, aromatherapy through candles, essential oils (lavender is calming, citrus or eucalyptus is energizing), cuddling up with your favorite blanket, scarf, comfy pants, lovey, bear, eating slowly and intentionally to enjoy the flavor of your foods, eating different and more naturally flavorful foods (citrus, spicey), movement through traditionally calming activities like dance, coloring, sewing, knitting, running, skating, skipping rope.
12. Let others do their thing. Everyone is going through a tough time and needs a little extra grace. This is not the time to hold big ones and or little ones to a standard of perfection. Emotions may seem hard to understand, reactions may seem exaggerated. This is a time to practice grace and let things roll off your back a little more. (I have to insert here though that there is no grace for a lack of safety. If you are in an unsafe environment, please reach out for help. Don’t look the other way either - if someone you know if not safe, please speak out to protect those who can’t protect themselves. You can text LOVEis to 22522 or call 800.799.7233.)
13. Practice a self-coaching mindset. You are the police(wo)man of your mind and our thoughts lead to our feelings. Read that again because it’s hard to swallow sometimes. Our thoughts determine our feelings, not our circumstances. It is possible to be in total chaos and be calm as a cucumber. The only way to get there is to monitor our thoughts and reroute the ones that don’t serve us well. Literally practice coaching yourself in a kind way. What is a good coach? A coach sees the best in us, she holds us accountable, she pushes us, she knows our edge, she knows when we need to recover, she doesn't let us get away with the BS (that’s toddler talk), but she doesn’t shame or belittle us (that’s mean girl talk). If you find yourself going down a rabbit hole, think “What would the coach say?”
14. When you are sick of the coach, listen to the cheerleaders. Sometimes you gotta be your own hypesquad. When you are down by 5 with 1:34 on the clock and the crowd is silent, the cheerleaders are still doing their thing. The reality is you are a survivor. You are resilient. You are creative. You are scrappy. You have survived 100% of your hardest days and you are going to be okay. It may not look how you would prefer, but you got this!
15. It is what it is. I have a love hate relationship with this sentence. It is one of the most overused victim-mindset-ridden phrases in some circumstances. However, it also has wisdom. Accepting where we are without judgement of ourselves and others is huge...and hard. It’s kind of mind-blowing to think about, but it is possible to totally love and care for yourself with grace and acceptance and still seek growth and improvement. You don’t have to do your best. To be integrity with yourself, you do need to try your best and accept that your best effort will vary day to day hour to hour minute to minute sometimes. Control what you can control...your focus, attitude and your effort are the top ones. I may not know when quarantine is over, but I sure can hang these shirts up in rainbow order, call for better rates on my telephone bill and tell my kids how proud I am of them.
16. How is this happening for me? Have you ever gone through a really rocky time - breakup, death of a loved one, abuse, job loss, health crisis and felt like your world was crashing down only to later realize that in some ways it was “the best thing that’s ever happened to you.” Looking back you see the doors that were opened, the wisdom you gained, the friendships that were solidified, the confidence you grew. What if we could see those blessings right in the eye of the storm? #easiersaidthandone We can practice it though. What are we learning in this? Where are there opportunities in this? How is this helping us define a new normal? What is this changing in me and in my life that needed to change?
17. Create a blessing. If that one was difficult, you may have to manufacture your own blessing right now. You may have to pick something to learn or create a positive activity to get you through this. Think of something so that later on you can say “Remember that crazy time back in 2020 when I was stuck inside and drive y’all crazy learning to speak Spanish from the internet?” Some ideas: new language, calligraphy, sewing, cooking, huge puzzles, writing a business plan, painting the house, building furniture, singing lessons, playing an instrument, reading the entire book series, watching the entire TV series, finishing the Bible, taking an online course, researching a side hustle.
18. Equal playing time. In the spirit of everyone gets a trophy, I’m not asking you to be Susie Sunshine all the time. I’m just asking you to strive for equal playing time. Our brain is perfectly designed to protect us. Notice I said protect - not make us happy. That’s why anticipating the negative is so easy for us. It’s a pretty strong default. So if our brain is going to spend all that time going down rabbit holes of creating hypothetical doomsday scenarios for you to freak out about, then I just simply ask it to give equal playing time creating hypothetical positive scenarios for you to get excited about. Intentionally think of positive things that could happen. Intentionally see positive things happening. You’ll feel silly, but it works.
19. The opposite of sadness is funny. If you are having a hard time giving equal playing time to positive scenarios, you may have to hack this one a little. You can also balance sadness with humor. Have you ever noticed how people say the most inappropriately funny things in the most stressful of times? I am the queen of it personally. Laughter breaks tension, anger, sorrow, all the headless horsemen. Some ideas: joke books, tell Alexa/Siri to tell you a joke, stand-up comedians on TV, Funniest Home Videos, blooper videos on youtube, funny movies. If you can’t think of anything else, google “runway model fails” videos. I dare you.
20. Anticipation. One of the strongest ways to improve our happiness is to have something to look forward to. Have you ever been more excited planning that dream vacation than you were actually on it? Heck yes! (Especially if you have kids. lol) Use this to your advantage. Think of what you are looking forward to both day by day and in the future. You don’t even have to know exactly when it’s going to happen to benefit from it!
21. Savoring. Another big bang for our buck comes from savoring. It’s a little hard to explain, but if you picture that fancy wine connoisseur you get the idea. They enjoy everything about that moment through as many of their senses as possible. Pick something - anything - and savor the moment with it. Experience it with every bit of mindfulness you can muster. It could be a sunrise, a kid’s laugh, a hug, a meal, a dance, anything!
22. Gratitude. Oprah made it cool, let’s be honest. There’s so much neuroscience behind this. When you reflect back on something in your life that you are thankful for, your brain shoots off little fireworks. Truth. Writing down a few things that you are grateful for every day makes those fireworks even bigger. Bonus points if those things are small, specific and unique day to day.
23. Don’t keep that gratitude to yourself. Part of connecting with others is expressing appreciation. Saying thank you for the littlest of everyday things, even the things they are “supposed to be doing anyway” is huge! Giving compliments, writing thank you notes, buying or making small gifts are other great ways to spread gratitude.
24. One day at a time. I know it sounds corny. Have you ever been running and thought to yourself “Just run to that mailbox.” And then when you get to the mailbox, you say “Okay, just to that stop sign and then you can stop.” And then when you get to the stop sign “You’re almost home; just make it home.” We don’t necessarily know when we’ll be able to stop running, but we know that these stressors are temporary. They are difficult. They are stressful, but they will indeed pass. Do not focus on the finish line. We can’t see that quite yet. Focus on this minute, this hours, this day, this week. Set small goals and then reset them. Be obsessed with the process of living your life, not the results of living your life.
25. Lean on me...when you’re not strong. I’ll be there… Remember that song? This is not the time to fly solo. Lean on trusted counselors, friends and family that are setting a good example of the direction you want to go. I’m asking you to fiercely guard your mindset and that means not everyone gets to speak into your life right now. But it also means that you need to have support. Sometimes in times of stress, we tend to “turtle in” way too much. Maybe we think we don’t want to bother people. Maybe we are just hoping things will get better on their own. It’s great to be positive, but hope is not a strategy. Stay connected or get connected to help as you need it...they can be counselors, doctors, therapists, teachers, tutors, financial advisors, friends, mentors, family members. We are pack animals. We’re not meant to ride this one alone.
26. Lean on Him. No matter what your faith, times like this make it very obvious that we are part of something bigger. I personally believe that God is always beside us. God always has our best interest in mind. God always has His purpose in mind. We may not understand the why’s, the how’s and the what’s, but we are loved and we are taken care. We also are put on earth to grow and fully express our God-given gifts and talents for His purpose the best we can. It is not lost on me that I am editing this the night before Easter, a season of trial, persecution, but most of all of new beginnings. I am so thankful for my faith, for those who walk in faith with me and support me without judgement. We are truly in this together - both this crisis - and life!
Okay, that was A LOT! Does that trigger the over-achiever in you? (I am a recovering overachiever myself.) Remember what I said in the beginning, I want you to do one thing. I don’t want you to feel guilty because you think you should be doing more. This is not just one thing or that you only did one thing. This is an intentional hack to literally start to stabilize your brain chemistry in chaotic and uncertain times. And it’s the first step in a coaching process you can follow to gradually navigate growth going forward.
One thing is so powerful because:
1 - You promote yourself to the status of being your own best doctor and self assess what you need.
Promotions are good right? They create reward.
2 - You honor your intuition and Self-Rx that thing that feels like a go.
Honoring yourself is good right? It promotes trust and security.
3 - You make a commitment to yourself to complete that “prescription” and get excited for it.
Keeping your word to yourself is good right? It promotes trust and security.
4 - You do it and savor it.
Mindfully experiencing this action is great right? It promotes a realization that “everything is okay.”
5 - You celebrate and express gratitude to yourself for doing it.
Celebration and positive reflection helps you re-experience that “everything’s okay” feeling and rewards you with a sense of accomplishment.
#ididonethingtoday today. What did you do that made you proud of yourself today? Share with me on social or here!
